MEDIA AUTOPSY

DOJ's 'Trump Stole History!' Narrative Hits Judicial Wall

The DOJ’s attempt to paint Trump as a document thief hit a snag when a federal appeals court dared to ask inconvenient questions about their flimsy legal theories.

GOOGLE vs. THE BOT AND THE BRAIN

Texas’s “Glitch” Delivers a Pre-Election Miracle: Less Voter Fraud Potential.

Texas faces another manufactured crisis as a “glitch” in voter registrations sparks outrage, conveniently before early voting.

NYT Unearths Shocking 'Misunderstanding' in Trump's Press Secretary Resume

Apparently, the greatest threat to democracy isn't policy, but a press secretary's potentially misfiled paperwork, according to the 'paper of record'.

NYT: Being Prepared Is Now 'Fear-Mongering'

Apparently, worrying about a nuke frying the grid is only acceptable when it's not a Republican doing the worrying.

WaPo Gasps: Texas AG *Checks Notes*… Fundraises from Donors

It appears Ken Paxton, like every other elected official in America, understands how the political money game works.

NYT Discovers Marriage, Panics Over 'Influence'

The New York Times has apparently unearthed a shocking scandal: a former Trump lawyer got married, and her husband has a job.

Trump Tries to Lower Gas Prices, Media Immediately Finds it Suspect

Apparently, addressing crippling energy costs by making a deal with Russia is now considered proof of devious geopolitical machinations, especially when Trump does it.

Cry Me a River: Politicians Discover Disagreement Can Be Unpleasant

Apparently, constantly demonizing half the country makes some people a little cranky, and the political class is utterly baffled by this phenomenon.

GOP Appoints Heretic To High Priesthood Of Elections: Mainstream Media In Contamination Panic.

Apparently, nothing terrifies the legacy media more than a man who actually scrutinized election results getting a chance to oversee them.

NYT Discovers Inflation Exists, Blames Orange Man and GOP for Democrats' Screw-Up

As Americans suffer under crippling inflation, the NYT offers its sagacious analysis: it's not current policies, but an unpopular former president causing the pain.

Trump Swaps Spokeswoman for Spokeswoman, Media Seeks Sexism Angle

Apparently, a woman can replace another woman in the Trump administration without the patriarchy imploding, much to the chagrin of the usual suspects.

Kansas Democrat's Blue Dream: NYT Confuses 'Competitive' With 'Desperate'

As a Democrat attempts to breach a century-old Republican wall in Kansas, the mainstream media is already polishing its 'shocking upset' headline.

D.C. Judge Blocks Effort to Stop Non-Citizens from Voting; Cites "Data Errors"

Apparently, the concept of "one citizen, one vote" is now merely a suggestion in the hallowed halls of Washington, according to one D.C. judge.

Trump Defends History's OG Explorer from Woke Virtue-Signalers

President Trump spoke to Italian American groups, framing himself as the defender of Christopher Columbus against modern cultural critiques and 'cancel culture.'

Michigan Senate Debate: Where Personal Attacks Fly Faster than Facts

Witness the greatest spectacle in political theater since the last family Thanksgiving dinner.

Congress: Where Representation Isn't Just a Percentage Game!

As the U.S. population grows more diverse, Congress seems stuck in a monochrome time warp.

Alaska Dumps 'Moderate' Primary, Proving Voters Hate Being Told Who To Elect

Apparently, Alaskans grew weary of a system designed to churn out candidates with all the conviction of a damp napkin.

Iowa Debate: Political Theater So Predictable, Even C-SPAN Yawned

In a battleground state, candidates proved once again that actual solutions are far less engaging than ideological posturing and rehearsed outrage.

Putin's 'Totally Accidental' Plague Lab Explodes: Trump Says Relax

President Trump dismisses bioweapon fears, while the global media frantically tries to conjure a new catastrophe.

Texas GOP Needs Prozac, Trump Visits

Apparently, even comfortable victories are now just a precursor to a full-blown political panic attack for the establishment GOP.

Democracy's Priceless Whore: Midterms Prove Cash Is King

Turns out, the price of 'democracy' is perpetually rising, especially when it involves an all-you-can-eat buffet for political consultants and media grifters.

NYT Declares Trump 'Retreat' from Globalist Sandbox

Apparently, avoiding yet another pointless global conflict is now considered a 'retreat' by the arbiters of acceptable foreign policy.

Trump's Doomsday Prophecies Ignored by Actual Musicians

While politicians warn of structural collapse, the symphony plays on, proving some fears are more theatrical than real.

RFK Jr. Wants to Research Vaccine Injuries; "Experts" IMMEDIATELY Begin Clutching Pearls

Apparently, scientific inquiry is only valid if it’s conducted by the right people, with the right pre-approved conclusions.

Same Headline, Different Day

Twenty-three networks. One press release. Fourteen hours of unbroken talking about it.