Professional Outrage Artists

Every night at 8 p.m. Eastern, a man in makeup walks onto a set and becomes furious about something he was mildly amused by in the green room forty minutes earlier. He does this five nights a week. His contract requires it.

Nuance, in this format, is a firing offense. Ambiguity is treason. Any sentence that begins 'to be fair' is edited out in post-production, along with any expression of doubt, curiosity, or basic humility.

“I'm just asking questions,” one host said, before delivering his forty-seventh consecutive declarative statement.

Ratings, we should note, are excellent. The audience does not want questions. The audience wants answers, and it wants them delivered by a man who is visibly winning a fight against no one.

This will continue.